For those new to Swagwire, a "Scripted Moment" is one that you have prepared for in advance. You have pregamed it in your head several times, and when that moment comes, you say something or do something just right and it comes off so naturally that it seems like you have done it a million times.
 
Today's topic is attending an event. The source of much anxiety and awkwardness, it is no secret that we can feel like we are at home when we are at the club, but when it comes to attending a "professional" or formal event, we can freeze up. Thus, Judge Swagwire presents 5 scripted moments for attending a professional or formal event.

1. Script Your Attire. The only way that you will feel comfortable is if you are first comfortable in your "own skin." The invitation you received likely includes the prescribed attire. Make sure you understand what this means. If you are unclear, simply Google the term and there will be many guidelines. Also, know what the prescribed attire means for your date. It is your job to know this for her in case she asks. Don't wait until the last minute! At least two weeks before the event try on your full outfit (dress rehearsal). Look yourself over in a full length mirror. If everything is to your liking, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you will be the flyest guy there. Doing this prevents last minute hang-ups. How can you have a great social night if you find out an hour before the event that you have a missing button or that your pants need to be tailored. Therefore, this dress rehearsal is essential. Addressing your attire upfront is about more than looking good. Making sure your attire is squared away will put a whole bunch of unnecessary stress and anxiety to the side. You will show up CONFIDENT because, at a minimum, you know you look the part. You MUST script your attire in advance and walk in knowing you are Swagwire status. If your attire fails the test, you will NOT have a good night.
   
2. Script introductions. If this is a company event, you should be looking to introduce your date to at least 8 people. As a rule of thumb at least: 2 people who are subordinate to you; 3 of your peers; and 3 people who are senior to you. You should have these 8 introductions memorized. You will start with introductions to your peers/subordinates, since all the brown-nosers will make a mad dash to bomb-rush the senior people. When introducing your date to subordinates/peers, introduce them TO your date (i.e. John, this is my wife, Mrs. Swagwire). When introducing your date to seniors, introduce your date TO the senior person (Mrs. Swagwire, this is Mr. Bigtime, the Chairman of the company). For each of these introductions, have a SHORT anecdote for the person. For instance, if you are introducing your date to the receptionist, say something like: "Sarah, this is my wife Kim." Then turn to your date and say something like, "Kim, I can't tell you how many times Sarah has bailed me out by showing me...." Again, this is scripted. When dealing with seniors be short and quick. However, be very careful to make great conversation with the senior person's spouse. Most people will forget to even recognize the senior person's spouse. The goal is to impress "senior person's spouse." As they ride home, you want senior person's spouse to say, "that guy Swagwire was really nice." Well actually, it wasn't that you were nicer than everyone else, you were one of the few people who took the time to make conversation with senior person's spouse.
3.  Script your hand shake and smile when meeting people. You will be surprised to see how many people do not give firm handshakes. Pay close attention after reading this post and watch how many sloppy handshakes you get (i.e. someone shaking your hand but only clasping your fingers instead of your palm). You can insure a firm handshake by giving the person a good target. Extend your hand in a good form and make it easy for that person to give you a good firm grip. While extending your hand, smile and say "Hi I'm Swagwire." Say it upbeat and enthusiastic but be yourself. Hold your hand slightly higher than you think the person will hold theirs. This (sub-consciously) establishes dominance and will give you confidence without you realizing it because the brain takes this as if you are embracing this person and giving your energy to them. Thus, a firm handshake and an upbeat attitude has the power of sending an interaction into the right direction. You will stick out and that person will remember you. If you don't already apply firm handshakes, start practicing it in the days and weeks leading up to the event. Whenever you see a person for the first time, extend your hand with an upbeat attitude and give them a firm handshake. You will quickly make this a habit because you will start noticing how it gives you confidence and allows you to set the tone of your interactions with people. If you try this, I guarantee you that giving firm handshakes will become addictive and it will become a lifelong habit that will take you way beyond this event.  
4. Script your small talk. If you are shy, you WILL NOT be the shyest person there. Look around the room and find a person who is socially awkward (they will stick out like a sore thumb). Go up to that person and start a conversation. Because you are more outgoing, talking to this person will be easy and will build your confidence. Ask that person open ended questions that will keep the conversation going. Have 3-4 things in mind that you can talk about. The latest sports game. The food at the party. The music. Basically any topic that will keep the conversation going and interesting. Steer clear of topics like politics and religion. Also, don't use this as a chance to talk about your personal tragedy or triumph. A lot of people who have gotten over a personal tragedy or triumph use that situation to define them and makes that the topic of their conversation when they get nervous. This is not the time to talk about how you were passed over for a promotion or some other sob story. Keep moving around a mingling and be self sufficient. Don't depend on the event program or others in order to have a good time. Use this event as an opportunity to meet new people, gain experience at being outgoing and social, and have fun. Try not to bring up work. This is a chance to get to know your colleagues on a personal level and to also give them a chance to know you. If someone can remember liking you as a person, then it may payoff inside the office later. Lastly, as it relates to smalltalk, have closings. Don't corner someone and try to talk to them all night. Excuse yourself to go get a drink or to the restroom. Before walking off, remind that person of why the conversation was valuable. Instead of the normal "nice to meet you," say something different like, "it was great meeting you John, I will be sure to make reservations at that nice restaurant you mentioned and I will follow up with you to let you know what I think-- enjoy the rest of your evening...Here is my card in case you ever need to reach me about XYZ."  In general, always try to do this instead of just walking off and saying "nice to meet you."
5. Lastly, script your drinking. This is not the time to show your office mates that you can knock 'em back. No matter how "cool" your office may be, in my opinion, you loose all credibility if your office mates have witnessed you intoxicated. Your best friend in the office may go to a competitor company and 5 years from now, your "cool" drinking pal in the office may be sitting across the negotiating table from you. What credibility do you have if that person has watched you slam back a shot. While we are on the topic of behavior, please remember the phrase "DON'T BE THAT GUY." At every company, there is someone who makes a fool of themselves at the company event. That person usually gets talked about all the way until next year's holiday party until someone else becomes "that" guy. In some cases, the same person holds the title of "that" guy for multiple years. There is a legend of a person who started out at a company in the mailroom who was "that" guy. By the time he retired 30 years later, he was still "that" guy and was still in the mailroom. Have a few drinks. Don't be antisocial. Drink a non-alcoholic beverage between each of those few drinks, and make sure your are not "that" guy.

I hope these tips assist you in attending those events.... Stay true to your inner SWAGWIRE!