Lets get this out in the open...Question: Why "5" tips Swagwire? Answer: Well in honor of Joe Flacco of the Baltimore Ravens of course and Judge Swagwire's line number when he pledged the greatest fraternity in the world....I DIGRESS....

Situation: We know you have stepped your game up and you are looking to take your lady on a Weekend getaway just to change the scenery and add a little fuel to your relationship's fire. You have been dropping hints. She is excited. To her, you are already "Boyfriend/Husband of The Year." STOP THE APPLAUSE. This is not enough. When she travels with you, it must be unforgettable. It must certainly be something no other guy has ever done (not even her dad). She must be swept off her feet. You must travel in style, with class, and unparalleled sophistication. You must take the initiative to plan every detail. All she should have to do is show up and blush. To Swagwire, this is more than just "flossing" or putting up a front. This sends a message. If you are not married yet, it sends a message of the security you can provide and gives her a glimpse into what life with you would be like. If you are married, it reaffirms the fact that she made the right choice. With that said, here are 5 tips that will separate the hard tacos from the soft tacos when traveling....

#1 Your Bag Says Everything

It is time to get rid of that huge gym bag that your aunt gave you when you were leaving for college. Yes the blue one with the huge Nike sign on it with all types of stains and smells. A great masculine bag is the kind of investment every man should make. If you get one that is a nice grade of leather, the older it gets, the better it will look. Furthermore, the type of bag you are carrying sends a message to the hotel staff when you arrive. The Nike gym bag says that you are headed up stairs to make noise and irritate the rest of the hotel's guests...this is why some guys always end up near the elevator or ice machine. On the other hand, if you arrive with pristine luggage, people will take you a bit more serious. Your lady will think the staff is treating you like a king because of your charisma and charm; Swagwire knows that it is because you made a statement from the moment you walked in.

#2 Set the Tone With the Establishment
There was once this gentleman that went by the name Charlie Swagwire. Whenever he and his lady were traveling or dining out, he would make the hotel/restaurant staff think that he and his occasion was as important as Barack Obama's inauguration. He would call the establishment pretending to be "an assistant," and he would demand that "Mr. Swagwire" get the best seat in the house or room with the best view. Upon his arrival, for some reason, everyone would call him by name; there would be a hand-written note left on his nightstand from the hotel's general manager; the restaurant's chef would come out, greet him, and offer them a complimentary dessert. We are not advocating that you go through these extremes, but there is nothing wrong with you calling and telling the staff that this is a special occasion and requesting the best accommodations/services available. Please don't forget that once you get this great service, you should tip well and provide positive feedback to the hotel's management. For instance, after the trip, send the establishment a quick note on someone (whose name you took the time to remember) and let them know what a fantastic job that person did. If you do this often, in no time, you will have a network of great establishments with staff that know you and you won't have to go to the extreme like Charlie Swagwire.

#3 Limit Your Cell Phone and Internet Use
Don't embarrass Swagwire by showing up and talking on your cell phone and being on Facebook the whole time. Facebook is off limits. The cell phone should only be used when it is absolutly necessary. Your boys will joke you and say you are "booed-up," or "henpecked" but you will not be able to get them when they are with their lady. Another thing: You are OFF work! You planned this trip well in advance. You spent the week making sure you closed out all projects and loose ends. Your email is now on auto-response. Don't expose your lady to you taking that "emergency" call from the office. Her imagination will quickly fast-forward to you missing your son's baseball game because you had to work late. Some Swagwires-in-Training do lame stuff by trying to take an office call to look important...this is lame...Don't embarrass Swagwire.

#4 Investigate the Establishment
Swagwire has a beat on a few shady spots that have great pictures on the internet--BUT you show up and the room is just large enough to eat a medium Papa John's pizza in-- you throw a rock in there and you will hit everybody. I remember taking Mrs. Swagwire to what I thought was the best restaurant in Manhattan (man I want to give the name and call them out so bad, but Swagwire is not tacky!). They brought out our appetizer and it was LITTERALY 3 sweat peas...YES as in *  *  * on a plate. Long story short, all of the meals were like this. The dessert was a single small piece of chocolate. My bill was $285 without the tip. Now I am all for 5 star and fine dining but this was flat out tacky...I slipped on that one...Point is, before a bank gives you their money, they run a credit check. Before you give an establishment YOUR money, run a background check on them. There are countless online sites that give reviews on restaurants and hotels... go online and see what people are saying. Online reviewers are surprisingly honest and reliable. If you have 150 people saying a hotel sucks, then don't embarrass Swagwire by showing up to a hotel room that has roaches ready to party with you and your lady.

#5 Have a Tentative Agenda
Don't type one out and give it to your lady like its the law. But, do jot one down and keep it to yourself in order to cut down wasted time trying to figure out what to do. Having a daily agenda will make you seam worldly and cultured. Have a checklist of things to do and include meal times. If you look on the internet, most major cities have a to-do list (i.e. "10 Things to Do While in Swagwire City"). Use this and plan out an agenda for you and your lady. There is nothing lamer than having to take your lady downstairs to ask the front desk what to do.

Happy Travels....no need to thank Judge Swagwire. Just continue letting the world know what it means to be a MAN again.